I got a lot of things to apologise for…
I actually have two main protagonists in my current WIP, but I decided to write it to the one who started it all off for me. I’ll probably do a second one for Aran because it’s nice to be able to explain yourself, and apologise for all the lovely and horrible things you do them! I recommend that everyone does this! It was so fun! And if you do, please tag me so I can see them!
So, here goes!
Before anything else, I just want to get one thing clear. I love you, even if the rest of the world won’t, and I don’t mean the one your in. I think readers are going to find you a bit annoying, we won’t know for sure just yet, and I hope they love you as much as I do, but with whats to come, let’s not bank on it. Anyway, you were the first character to pop in to my head and the one I’ll always love the most.
You are not anywhere near the heroine of the story, but your not the damsel in distress either, you are the girl in between. And, from the start, I knew you felt helpless, sad, scared, betrayed, and you still do now, but after all I’ve thrown at you, you still manage to hang on. Your so good at finding them little pieces of happiness, or meaning, and I admire that about you.
Whatever I put you through, just know that it’s done for a reason. I need to see as much as ‘she’ does – even though you don’t know who ‘she’ is yet – if you can do this. Will you be able to fight something your going to lose, will you be able to keep going when everyone else leaves you?
I think you can. And I think that despite the comfy life you had, the one without any problems (except the ones the outside world never saw), the one fit for a Princess, that in the end, you might find the adventure I give you a bit more fulfilling than the life you might have had.
There is much more to come, many more trials, heart ache, death, loss, murder, fire. It’s all coming for you, but just try and hold on to yourself, to your friends, to the people that matter, because in the end, they may be the only ones that can save you. Although, you’ll have to do a lot of saving yourself before that moment comes to pass.
I know it’s easier said then done, and I left you sad, broken and unable to forget the list you created in your head. But keep that list Lauryn, wear the names of those you failed and make armour out of it, make it so they mattered. It doesn’t have to be just yet. I know it’s still raw; but you have to show your gratitude to the people who gave their lives to save yours.
I won’t take everything from you, I can promise that, but I don’t know if you will ever forgive me for the things I do.
Your life isn’t going to get any easier, but I think you can find a way to be happy, to keep going when you feel like it’s all lost. I believe in you, and I always will!
A bit of advice though. There’s no point going through life holding grudges on those who did you wrong. There’s no point worrying about the past because you can’t change it. There’s no point worrying about the future because it hasn’t happened yet. You need to live in the here and now, and give chances to those who may have been swayed by something they truly believe in…
Good luck Lauryn…
Love your biggest fan,